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A Call Girl's Dilemma !

few weeks ago, a recent graduate of Stanford Law School was targeted by federal authorities for running a high-priced call girl service in California. Her Stanford classmates mostly professed indifference - more power to her, they said. And, frankly, I'm not that bothered either. If she wants to run a call girl service, let her run a call girl service - at least she'll have the only clients who might learn something about civil procedure while taking their dubious pleasure. But as the story drifted into the twilight, a different group of critics inevitably chortled into view. The real tragedy, said these ever-repetitive chicken-littles, was that law school costs so much that people are compelled to take enormous loans to pay for it. Students were being forced into unfulfilling but lucrative jobs by the dark hand of financial exigency, and Stanford's classy call girl was just the worst example of that road's inevitable destination.
I've had enough of this ceaseless whining. First of all, even if the critics are right about tuition, having sex for money is neither the best nor only solution to indebtedness. Like everyone else at Stanford, the putative call girl could have taken a job with a large law firm, lived in relative frugality, paid off her loans, and then made for the hills. But even if that wasn't an option, Stanford has a really generous low income protection program - any number of public interest jobs awaited her in easy grasp. Or, if the usual kinds of legal practice held no luster, she could have written books, salacious as she liked, formed a company, even struck out on her own as a lawyer in some kind of imaginative way. For example, in the wake of Chile's recent law legalizing divorce, a 24-year-old lawyer set up a small firm practicing family law - as the article I read noted, even if she didn't know anything about divorce, neither did anyone else. The truth is that the SLS call girl wasn't forced into her ancient profession, but went willingly in the face of myriad difficult but plausible options. And to the extent our law allows it, that's fine. It doesn't mean everyone else should feel constrained to follow.
But even the tuition point isn't right. Sure, law school tuition at Harvard and Stanford is extremely high. The ever-increasing number of zeroes at the end of my loan balance are proof enough of that. Nor has anyone explained satisfactorily why it should be this way. I understand that paying our professors is expensive, and the buildings need upkeep, and the morning coffee needs to be paid for, but Harvard is so wealthy that one imagines money to reduce costs could be found somewhere in the university's voluminous coffers. I'm not blind to the faults of the law school system, and I don't think it above reproach.

Even so, we're all adults here. Harvard didn't hide what it cost when they sent us our admissions packets - the tuition and fees were easy to find, and to weigh. Furthermore, almost every single one of us had perfectly adequate and cheaper alternatives. Those from states like California, Virginia, Michigan, and Texas, for example, had access to nationally-prestigious state-run law schools at reasonable prices. Everyone else who elbowed his or her way into this place could have won hefty scholarships at any number of excellent universities, or could have gone to their own perfectly respectable state institutions. In the end, they'd all have been lawyers, and with less debt and more freedom.

Instead, we all chose to come here, for one reason or another. Some of us wanted to wear a "Harvard Law School" sweatshirt to impress the local worthies back at home. Others wanted the near-guarantee of a high-paying New York job. Still others thought coming to HLS would help land them a spot clerking for the Supreme Court, or some other prestigious bench of federal authority. Whatever it was, we all knew the cost, we all knew what benefit we thought would result from coming here, and we made a conscious decision that the price was worth paying. It's no good arguing that you now don't want to practice law at a big law firm, or that your neighbors think lawyers are bad, and HLS ones the worst, or that Supreme Court clerks are smarter than you are. Just like any other large transaction, money in return for an HLS education and imprimatur was the bargain we made. I'm glad I made that choice, and I hope others agree. So let's stop the whining and live our lives, and let our adventurous Stanford colleague do the same.

Raffi Melkonian is a 3L whose ever-increasing number of zeroes at the end of his loan balance are proof enough of that.

Sex and the Cell Phone

Why bitching about calls is like bitching about condoms.

When was the last time we heard someone defending the most reviled gadget of them all? I'm talking, of course, about the ubiquitous mobile phone. Every cell phone user seems to be a part-time cell phone basher.

"These people remind me of politicians who visit hookers -- all the time pretending they think we're The Scourge," says my friend Lisa, a call girl who replaced her landline with two vibrating mobiles.

Cell phone haters are a lot like those sexual Luddites who still bitch about using condoms. Even though we're two decades into an epidemic which has made condoms a normal part of everyday sex, some people will always complain about getting into bed with technology. But cell phone bashers deny that they're technophobic. Instead, they claim to be experts on etiquette. They seem to think that the outmoded etiquette of landline technology -- born of its rather primitive limitations -- should continue to prevail in the era of the hands-free mobile.

"There's nothing worse than having to hear the details of somebody's latest deal while you're trying to nap on the train," a crotchety corporate lawyer recently told me. This grouser, whose only personal phone is a mobile, inhabits two different centuries. Overhearing the fine print of another person's life -- that's how we live today. And what's so terrible about that?

I've always been a casual eavesdropper -- not a snoop, but a passive observer of other people's affairs. In a restaurant, at a party, on a sidewalk, I'm fascinated by what I can learn from overheard fragments of conversation. I love staring up at the windows of an apartment building and conjecturing about what's going on. For someone like me, cell phones are not an imposition, they're a bonus.

Cellular pseudophobes pay homage to the values of the landline even when they need their cell phones in order to live the way they really want to live. Perhaps we need to think about what cell phones mean -- what they symbolize. Remember when it was fashionable to theorize about the symbolic meaning of a man's automobile? The brown station wagon was a wife, the red sports car a mistress, and I'm not sure what a white VW Beetle was. (A braless hippie chick?) The cell phone is today's sleek portable mistress, while the landline -- now the station wagon of telephony -- is our symbolic spouse urging us to come home.

If you want clarity and straight talk, you must go to the cell phone user who makes her living through sexual sin. Once upon a time, call girls had to sit by their phones, Penelope-like, even on quiet days when there were no calls. It was dangerous to go out "even for five minutes," according to one former call girl, "to the laundry room or the corner store. That's exactly when a client would call and hang up on your answering machine!" The 21st-century call girl doesn't suffer from cabin fever like her predecessor. Instead, she's a multitasker. "I can be on the phone, making a date with a client while I'm at the nail salon getting my toes done," says Lisa. "I get personal advice from my girlfriends during cab rides." She wonders how 20th-century hookers got by with cumbersome landlines and medieval beepers. "Didn't they go out of their minds?" Everywhere I go, it seems that the oldest profession is being revamped by communication technology.

During a recent visit to Toronto, I had drinks with a secretive escort in her 20s who advertises for new clients on the Internet. Jacqueline lives with her sister but her entire family is in the dark about her commercial sideline. She has a straight day job, and sneaks out on weekends and evenings to the homes and hotel rooms of her clients, keeping her rent low by sharing an apartment with her innocent sibling. Thanks to e-mail and a cell phone, Jacqueline has modern privacy, old-fashioned family ties, direct communication with her clients and affordable housing. A few nights later, I had dinner with Katie, a sweet-faced, perky 26-year-old who told me that on her patch of "the track" where the street girls of Toronto strut their stuff, pimps are becoming less important. As she warmed to her theme, she was streetwise yet spinsterish. "You don't need a man anymore. What for? We all have cell phones!" With instant communication at her fingertips, Katie can call one of her buddies for help or issue an urgent warning to a fellow streetwalker. For Katie and Jacqueline, complaining about cell phones would be like complaining about condoms -- unthinkable. It takes a professional sinner to appreciate the virtues of the cellular.

Who is a Call Girl?

A call girl or escort is a prostitute who (unlike a street walker) is not visible to the general public. Nor does she usually belong to an institution like a brothel. One must summon her, usually by calling a telephone number—hence the name call girl. Often, call girls advertise their services in small ads in magazines, although an intermediary such as an escort agency, pimp or a pander may be involved.

Call girls can work either incall, where the client comes to them, or outcall, where they come to the client.


Call girls are commonly perceived to be elite amongst prostitutes, far more skilled, able to pick and choose amongst their potential clients and therefore demand higher prices for their services, and are more attractive, educated, well-groomed and youthful than street prostitutes. An escort service will not take on any woman that is unattractive, has a visible drug problem (such as needle marks from injecting drugs), or has an overly negative persona. Unless they specialize in tattooed women, escort services will usually not take on any women that have anything larger than a small tattoo. Escort services seek to establish a reputation for offering desirable women and know that their customers only give them one chance. If an escort service sends an undesirable woman to a client, the client will very likely not use that service again. Also, many escort agencies do criminal background checks on applicants to weed out those that have been arrested for street prostitution or other types of crimes. This weeding out is done to reduce the chances of being accused of being sellers of prostitution, trying not to draw the attention of law enforcement agencies. For these reasons, there is rarely any cross-over between call girls and street prostitutes.

Internet
Most call girl agencies and independent call girls are now online, and the Internet has become the main venue for a customer to find his match. Generally, the picture of the girl is provided, and sometimes, the type of sexual services she is willing to offer. Some agencies also propose for a high fee people of special interest, such as twins, former porn stars, B-List models, prodommes or even submissives.


The Internet is also used by punters/hobbyists to provide evaluation of the call girls they have met and rate them, on their aesthetics, behavior or sexual performances. For the readers of evaluation web sites, such as BigDoggie, MyRedPages, and TER, the rating of the call girls is often a determining factor in their selection.


This has led some customers to blackmail call girls by threatening of a bad rating in order to obtain more sexual services or a discount on the rate. Some call girls also cheat by logging stellar evaluations of themselves on these sites, although most of the sites try to identify and filter these "fake reviews".

QUESTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT CALL GIRLS

Q1)A callgirl is a consultant, using her expertise and experience in seduction and giving pleasure to fulfill a verbal contract with a client who is paying her by the hour to complete an agreed-upon project" Do you agree with the author's assessment here? Why or why not?
Q2)Why is having casual sex with a man you pick up in a singles bar considered acceptable, but having sex as a business proposition is not?
Q3)What do you think of this line of logic -- that prostitutes contribute to lowering violent crime? Make an argument for it, and one against it.
Q4)I was actually starting to see my night job as a pleasant escape" . "The class on prostitution, I realized, was what had really saved me" . Discuss what, if any, balance the author had as she moved between these two worlds. How does her two jobs complement each other? How do they work against each other?
Q5)"The only way to stop this trafficking in and profiting from the use of women's bodies is for prostitution to be legalized. Legalization will open it up to regulation; and regulation means safety" . Does this statement at the end of the book surprise you? What was your opinion on legalizing prostitution? And what is your feeling on the subject now?

Confession of a Call Girl- "I liked my professional competence, the fact that I was teaching something important and teaching it well. And I also liked the secret knowledge that the night before I had been paid to be sexy, beautiful, and desirable. I liked both sides of myself."

Please feel free to give your comments

A poem for us....

A poem for us....

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????

I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.

CALL GIRLS IN HIS CLOSET- NAKED CITY

Paying for It

Tempting as it may be for a man to tell his partner everything, a history of sleeping with prostitutes is one little detail he might consider keeping to himself.

All new relationships are a trade-off between secrecy and intimacy, a reckoning between what a partner needs to know and what he probably shouldn’t. While a single woman’s best-kept secret is the number of men she has slept with, for some single men it’s the number of times they’ve paid for sex. With erotic massages, dominatrixes, and escorts just a phone call or mouse click away, there’s a good chance that an eligible New York bachelor over 30 has paid for sex of some sort at least once in his life. For the most part, guys don’t talk about it. But when relationships get intimate, some do, causing their girlfriends and wives to hit the roof. In a city where women flaunt their rocks and trade on their sexuality every day, the have-you-paid-for-sex conversation remains a relationship deal-breaker, whether or not it should.
“Every guy I know has been with a prostitute,” says my friend David, 46, an actor and writer who solicited quite a few before he was married.
“If we lived in a society where everyone got all the love and sex they wanted, there probably wouldn’t be as many. But guys don’t get all the sex they want.” At various points in his life when he’s wanted to be honest about who he is, he has opened up to women about his john past. Though some were curious, many “were horrified,” he says. “They took the position that anyone who would pay a woman to have sex is just a horrible man who treats women with no respect and reduces them to objects. I quickly ended those relationships.”
But don’t those women have a point? He says no: “The assumption that an encounter with a prostitute defines a man, his sexuality, and his character is a leftover from Puritan times. In any line of work, there are different kinds of transactions. Not every woman who gets paid to have sex is being forced, and not every man who pays for it is sexist.”
Heather, 30, a music-industry executive, dated a 26-year-old guy last summer who told her he had been soliciting prostitutes since he was 22. She stopped seeing him soon after. “We were on a camping trip in a tent in New Jersey, talking a lot, and he asked me how long it had been since I had had sex. I told him it had been more than several months, and when I asked him, he got a weird look on his face and said, ‘I get sex when I need it. You know that movie Pretty Woman? I’m kind of like Richard Gere.’ ”
Her first concern was disease; though he told her he always used protection, it did little to comfort her. But beyond that, she couldn’t make sense of his need for it: “This was a young, good-looking lawyer who could go into any bar and pretty easily get a woman to go home with him. So why would he pay for it if it wasn’t his only way of getting sex?”
“He got a weird look on his face and said, ‘I get sex when I need it. you know the movie Pretty Woman? I’m kind of like Richard Gere.’ ”
Ask a man and he’ll supply any number of answers—he doesn’t want to go to the trouble of a bar pickup, he wants to fulfill a particular fantasy, he doesn’t want to have to worry about his partner’s pleasure—but most women have a tough time understanding this way of thinking.
Tracy Quan, author of The Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl and a former call girl herself, suggests that some men are “born johns,” who because of childhood relationships or some X-factor start trolling young and keep it up. Others “want to have sex in the middle of the day at the drop of a hat without any preliminaries.” Although most of her clients were married men who had been rejected by their wives or sexually naïve men who wanted experience, some were single, and not all were bad in bed.
“I had a noticeable number of clients who were attractive and sexually skilled to the point where I would wish they were less so,” she says. “I had good-looking guys who knew where my clitoris was. I came from time to time.”
Even johns themselves are divided when it comes to making sense of their actions: Some feel no shame, while others remain haunted by their experiences. “When I first came to New York, I was 25 and living up on 98th Street,” says Bob, 47, a photographer. “I would pick these girls up and bring them to my place, and before we had sex, we would just lie in bed. I knew that the girl wasn’t going to judge me and that she was fun. I learned how to relax around women.”
On the other end of the spectrum is Tim, 47, a writer, who confessed to his now-wife that he used to see street hookers regularly. She cried and he went to therapy. “It exposed a part of me that she didn’t know about,” he says. “I had a separate need for power and control that didn’t have to do with sex.” He thinks men who go to hookers are victimizing women whether they admit it or not: “I understand women’s disgust and completely share it. It has a degrading aspect for both people involved.”
In the case of the Richard Gere guy, Heather concluded that what he had done had affected his ability to be intimate with women. He had trouble kissing her, and though he said he wouldn’t go to another prostitute if they got serious, she wasn’t sure she believed him.
In the end, a john past may fall into the category of things best left unsaid. “Women could learn a lot from watching the way guys function,” says Quan. “Men know instinctively, I am what I am and there’s no way every woman would accept every inch of me. I think women should accept the idea of compartmentalization in men and compartmentalize more of themselves.”
Bob, for his part, has chosen discretion: “I don’t tell my wife, and part of it is to protect her. I don’t think a woman is capable of understanding it even if I were given the chance to explain. A guy doesn’t want to show 100 percent of himself. He wants to show 99 percent.”